dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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