so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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