the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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