why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We left an ass print on the piano.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I pour the whiskey from now on
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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