After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
