There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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