glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
