My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
