is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
