I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
