When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
