Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
