all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
