you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
