Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
