i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
