susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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