guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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