I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
