i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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