I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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