whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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