My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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