i barfeds in our rink
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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