I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Randomize
