Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize