is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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