remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
