Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize