Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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