yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
