I think I won the penis lottery.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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