is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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