U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
