Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
