Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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