how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
