You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize