I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize