HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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