Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
