I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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