I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
