i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
