worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
