lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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