i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
