so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
