ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
