Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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