Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
