Do you still have your period?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
