The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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