All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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