i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
