My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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