I love black thongs
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My life is pants optional.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
