i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
