ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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