I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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